When wine happened

St Wilfrid’s Primary school had just invested in a brand new extension. A new canteen, shiny new toilets and a fresh new carpet. The ribbon to the door had barely been cut before I managed to smash a bottle of red wine all over the entrance hall. The innocent blue carpet blotched with a deep red stain where it had soaked up the item my parents had given me to pass on as a gift.

I was heartbroken. Everyone stepped back and stared. My teacher told me off.

Years on, I’m sure any remnants of the stain have now merged with muddy footprints and possibly even more red wine stains from subsequent pupils who have also been packed off with offerings of alcohol for jaded teachers persevering with their profession. 

Today, I am wiser, more confident (and possibly slightly more drunk), but nevertheless, I have the benefit of hindsight and several things have struck me since.

Firstly, who chose to carpet a primary school? It’s the same when you visit someone’s house and they have decided to carpet the kitchen. It’s just asking for spillages, stains and potentially some sort of small fire. 

Secondly, is a stain really a stain? 

I’ve always seen my rather chaotic and haphazard approach to life as something I wanted to illuminate in good humour. I walk into door frames alarmingly often. I kick drinks over and I drop stuff all the time. I seem to bumble through life with my head down and my eyes fixed on the floor.

But stains are merely a memory of an event. If I bump my head while laughing, do I focus on the pain or the joy of being surrounded by wonderful people who want to make me laugh? If I walk into a door frame when I’m on my way out to an event, do I get cross, or fall in love with the charm and idiosyncrasies life presents me with? 

If I fall down, do I get upset at the grazes on my palms, or do I rejoice in the fact that I got up again - blemished and proud of my own resilience. 

Humans have an unbelievable amount of strength. We learn, we move forward and we keep going. Stains can frustrate us but they also tell stories and invite inquisition. 

You can’t change the past and if we look back on every event that didn’t go as expected as something negative, we will feel like we haven’t got anywhere. But quite the opposite is true.

I can’t tell you how important it is to love yourself and be proud of who you are. You are unique and any stains you have left behind are just moments in time where you learnt something new and grew into something better.